The Ocean.

I love the way the waves ripple. I love the contrast in colours and textures where the water meets the sky. I love the sound of waves crashing on the rocks and onto themselves. I love the birds that fly through the landscape. I love the silhouette of sailboats that you can see on the horizon. I love the smell of the salt water and fresh air. I love knowing of the creatures that swim and travel beneath the water. I love when the sky starts changing into beautiful colours. I love seeing the sun drop beneath the water. I love standing before something so powerful. I love knowing the creator of it all.

Bellingham, WA

Their Body Is Not Gross.

I just have to put out there that I'm not a health professional, and I really don't know anything about working out or how the human body works. ..But I mean, I think I have the most basic grip on the concepts.

When you start working out, your body will start to change. When you stop working out, your body will change. When you eat healthy, or eat like crap, your body will change. If you have a baby, or get sick, or get in an accident, your body might change. And if none of those things apply to you: as you get older, your body will change. Our bodies are so cool. With time and/or work (or no work), we can change how we look. 

I love all the support that's been going on recently for plus size models, and the "Real Beauty" campaigns. It's great to focus on recognizing the beauty within everyone. ..but people, that means, everyone. Those campaigns aren't meant to say that those "regular" sized people are the most beautiful. They aren't meant to say that if you're skinny, you're overrated. They aren't meant to say that curvy is the most beautiful. Their point is that there is beauty in everyone, and it's okay to be the size that you are. 

I've seen quotes online that put down people who are "skin and bones", while "real men like girls with curves". A person getting called "too skinny", is no more acceptable than a person getting called "too fat". Be happy for you who are and what you have, but don't forget to be happy for them, and what they have.

One other physical judgement I've heard an overwhelming amount of times recently, is calling someone out for being "too muscular". I've seen friends and family look at pictures of heavy weight lifters, and body builders or even a woman with a six pack, and respond with, "gross" or "that's too far" or "they're too big". It makes me really SAD! First, I doubt you would find it okay for someone to call your lack of muscles "gross", so why is it okay for you to pass the same judgment? Secondly, those people have worked so incredibly hard (..most of them anyway) for the changes they have achieved, for their fitness, and for their body, and you think that's gross? I think that attitude is gross. If you don't want to change your body in that way, then don't, you don't have to; but think of the time, dedication, effort, and commitment that those people had to change themselves.

What an amazing thing it is, to be able to change ourselves, but have our beauty remain constant.

my dog, Kai.

So, once a female becomes the owner of a dog AND an iPhone, a lot of pictures begin to take place. Since Instagram unfortunately, can only contain so many of them, I decided to make a blog post dedicated purely to the adorableness of my pet that I've captured the past few months.

So without any further ado, here's my dog, Kai.

SO CUTE. AM I RIGHT? 

If he were a person, 10/10.

This picture cracks me up.

he MELTS my heart.

Like, really.

It's so hard to tell if he actually even likes me, but I freakin LOVE him. I feel much better knowing that these pictures ended up going somewhere. He's too cute to stay hidden! ..(not that I hide hiiiim, just the pictures)

Size without comparison.

You know, being 5'1" (on a good day), I'm reminded constantly of how big I am. How much vertical room I occupy.. Or don't really occupy. All my friends are over 5'5" at least, so I'm usually the "little" one. I honestly don't mind, but I also honestly don't understand why we think that way.

I always start to think about this when I go to the ocean. There's something about staring out at a horizon of seemingly never ending water that makes me feel so small. However when I take a second to look down at my feet, and see the little rocks and sand, it makes me wonder where I fit into it all.

I'm not going to look up all the facts here, but I think we can all agree that the atmosphere goes up a fair ways, followed  by the rest of the solar system, and then whatever else is up there. THAT is tall. Or is it? But nonetheless, when you look at a picture of me next to my 6' friend, standing in front of the ocean with the skies in the background, I don't think it's reasonable to call me the short one, because that one foot between us isn't very significant anymore.

Sometimes though, I don't know how big I'm supposed to feel. I know that my worth isn't dependent on it, and maybe it doesn't even matter. But sometimes I want to know what I am to the existence of life, without comparison. Not compared to my 6' friend, or the ocean, or the galaxies, or the grains of sand. Just me, independent of everything else. How big my mind is, and how far my thoughts reach. Maybe it depends on how much of an impact you make in the world, or in other peoples minds. How is there size without comparison? 

I'm not sure. I'm not trying to be self-centred, or completely single out myself from everyone else. These are just the things I think about, and sometimes all my thoughts just jumble together, and don't make sense, but that's okay.

it's comfortable.

"Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change."

Change is the only thing that's constant?

It sure doesn't seem that way, anymore at least.

When I was a kid, things were constantly changing, and I had no control over it. I had to move up a grade every year, make friends with new people, new teachers, my parents planned our trips, made something special for dinner every night, and we moved houses obviously without my consent. Nonetheless, change was constant back then. I didn't know what the future held for me, and it wasn't my choice.

Today, I'm working at a fast food place I've been at for 2 years, and I'm in my second year of a two-year degree at university. I probably couldn't find a job I dislike more, and I have no passion for what I'm studying. So why do I do it? Because it's comfortable.

I know that I can get the hours I need, and want at work. I know the people. I know the job like the back of my hand. I know that as long as I show up, I'll be getting money. Money to go towards paying for schooling that I have no interest in. Enough money to get me through what I don't want to be doing, yet not enough money to reassure me that quitting soon is a possibility.

Change doesn't happen until I make the choice now, because there's no one paving the road for me anymore. How easy it is to get stuck in a rut once you become comfortable. Change is scary and unknown. At times it's easy to avoid, and that's exactly what we do. We put up with people and situations that don't treat us right, for way too long, because it's easier than starting new.

So when the pain of working for a company I can't stand, and studying things I don't enjoy becomes too great, then change will happen. Not when my parents push me into a different direction, or when I think new opportunities are going to fall into my lap. When I realize that I'm holding the power to make the changes in my life, that's when change will happen.

disappointment.

frustration. let down. disappointment.

You know when you have high hopes for something, like really high hopes, and things don't go the way you planned? Maybe your computer crashed and you lost your 12 page paper, or your exam date falls on the day of the event you wanted to go to. Or maybe plans fall through, and you don't get to see the people you wish so badly you could.

SO badly you wish you could go back in time and change something. If you had just done that one thing differently, you could save yourself from the disappointment. The feeling of trying to think of every possible way you can change your circumstance, but nothing will work. How much do we all hate that feeling. Disappointment. 

Today that feeling flooded through my heart so fast I felt like I was going to pass out. Should haves, could haves, would haves. I kept thinking of what would have happened if all of it had panned out the way I thought it could have. How great things would have been then.

Driving home from work a song came on that really impacted me, and changed my perspective just a little bit. The lyrics read, "Shout it, go on and scream it from the mountains. Go on and tell it to the masses, That He is God. We will sing out Hallelujah."

He is God. Hallelujah. We have a Saviour, and he's in control of our lives, not us. Jesus has the power to heal our broken hearts and carry our burdens for us, and when these times of disappointment arise, I'll put my trust into Him.

Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:8

I'm NOT shoving religion down your throat.

I guess I will start off by stating that I am indeed a Christian. However, I didn't grow up in a Christian home, and I wasn't forced into it. Today I believe what I believe because, well, I believe it! How does one explain why they believe what they believe? To the depths of my heart I just feel truth jumping out and revealing itself right to my face! It's something that doesn't CHANGE. It's constant. I can't control it. My beliefs almost in a sense control me, and yet in a way, i'm okay with that. I'm okay with letting myself believe, and love, and grasp onto what I feel as true, because it gives meaning to this confusing world.

So whether you believe in Jesus Christ, another higher power or evolution, I understand why. I get it! In your heart, your mind, with all that you are and have, you feel truth in what you believe. It seems right. You find peace and meaning to life in your beliefs! 

This is why the topic of religion gets so heated, SO quickly. There are so many ideas, theories, religions, etc. trying to explain life. Don't get me wrong, I BELIEVE in science. Science explains; it gives us numbers and definitions, and brings us closer and closer to the smallest and largest ideas and matter in the universe. It helps us explain what we are and how we work. Science is fact and is a subject that almost can't be denied or debated. But I know that science doesn't satisfy me, and this is where people differ. I want to know why we are. This is where faith takes over. The reason there's a debate about this in the first place is because no one knows! We could aaaaall be wrong, yet our faith is what guides us. However, with over 7 billion people in the world there is bound to be some conflict.

So here's what I really wanted to talk about. The idea of "shoving religion down someones throat". The idea of getting into a conversation with someone who will sit there and tell you that what they believe is what you ought to believe. You're wrong and they're right, so you better just sit down and listen to what they're saying because they're obviously WAY smarter than you are. And you know, you're basically missing out on life itself. That's what I've been told it seems like. But I can tell you right now, that those people talking to you, trying to convince you with all their might that their beliefs are true, are only doing that to help you. I KNOW, it seems ridiculous and the total wrong way to go about it. You may know for a fact that they're wrong, but to them, what they're saying is the truest thing in the world.

I know a boy at my work who I've heard say multiple times that he hates getting religion "shoved down his throat". He grew up in the church, his parents made him go, and as soon as he got old enough, he left and despised all that religion was. Occasionally I like talking to him about what changed in his heart that made him want to turn away from Christianity. After I listen to his answers, he never wants to hear a word I have to say. It aggravates him to hear anything that may "defend" what he argues against. He turns to the "I don't care what you believe just don't try to push anything onto me" statement. 

Why can't we talk about this? Going back to beliefs, I know you believe in something that may be totally different from me. Just like you respect me for believing what I do, I respect you too! I respect that in your life, where you are and what you've experienced has lead you to have the faith that you do, whatever that may be. I want to hear what you believe because I respect you, and I would hope that you would listen to me too. Unless you are on an uneasy ledge of converting to a different faith that you are trying to avoid (which I doubt many people are), what's the big deal in hearing someone out? Either it can change your life in ways you couldn't thank someone enough for, or you brush it off the second they're done talking. Either way there isn't harm in just listening, engaging in conversation, offering opinion, or sharing your beliefs. 

So no, nobody is "shoving religion down your throat", and only you have the power to allow yourself to feel that way. People are sharing the truth in their lives with you. Be open and honest and share the truth in your life with someone else, whatever it may be, because what you have to offer is huge.